I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
