ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
