I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just found puke in my bra..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
