Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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