Only a mothe r could love this liver
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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