Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
