I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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