Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize