have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
