in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
