Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
