Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
