you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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