You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
