I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
