Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
