party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
