it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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