this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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