I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
