our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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