I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
