Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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