There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
