Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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