Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
