Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
