So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
