I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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