there's paper in my vomit.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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