how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!