I love black thongs
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.