Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone

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  (732): Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone http://tfl.nu/vmc1
  Replies (8) Good night (1890) Bad night (1302)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.

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  (607): I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships. http://tfl.nu/rdml
  Replies (22) Good night (882) Bad night (3249)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

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  (484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/xhdj
  Replies (50) Good night (48406) Bad night (1451)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense

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  (440): i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense http://tfl.nu/65hc
  Replies (23) Good night (1847) Bad night (5534)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever

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  (843): you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever http://tfl.nu/z6zx
  Replies (18) Good night (6154) Bad night (610)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?

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  (+44): She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea? http://tfl.nu/vmb3
  Replies (19) Good night (5365) Bad night (1734)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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  (208): She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!" http://tfl.nu/qjvm
  Replies (41) Good night (2869) Bad night (9532)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

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  (806): Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit. http://tfl.nu/p6mu
  Replies (9) Good night (2220) Bad night (1062)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.

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  (480): It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car. http://tfl.nu/gkht
  Replies (3) Good night (2180) Bad night (914)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere

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  (+61): We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere http://tfl.nu/ed23
  Replies (7) Good night (2435) Bad night (827)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why do you think it's a no-pants party?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.

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  (978): Why do you think it's a no-pants party? (603): Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation. http://tfl.nu/hg9g
  Replies (4) Good night (2884) Bad night (581)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.

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  (570): If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene. http://tfl.nu/rk7g
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (1234)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?

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  (312): he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent? http://tfl.nu/n82j
  Replies (7) Good night (390) Bad night (781)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!

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  (660): Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription! http://tfl.nu/if8j
  Replies (4) Good night (876) Bad night (243)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.

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  (303): And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond. http://tfl.nu/d9ej
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (255)

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