He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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