I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
