Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
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I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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