Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize