That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We're too hungover to prance.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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