It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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