I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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