i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
