i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize