what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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