i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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