Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
