so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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