this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
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