yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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