i would punch a child for taco bell
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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