Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
