Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
