Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
