My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
