Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
