You really coming over, don't trick.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
