just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
