woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
