Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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